Death
Following the last quick fire round blog, this topic needed more than a one book answer so I decided to write a quick blog post recommending reads about one of the trickiest topics to talk about: death. Whether you are looking for something because of personal circumstances or because you want to explore the topic further, there are many beautiful and child-friendly books out there exploring the death of family members, friends and pets; exploring themes of grief, anger and sadness; exploring the philosophical answers as well as the scientific answers.
Just a wee note to say that I never recommend a book I haven’t read & rated. Nothing I post about is sponsored or an ad or anything like that.
Also, the teacher in me has included a couple of links to useful sites for talking about death to children and teens.
https://www.childbereavementuk.org/childrens-understanding-of-death-at-different-ages
https://www.childbereavementuk.org/a-teenage-guide-to-coping-when-someone-dies
Dying to Ask: 38 Questions From Kids About Death by Ellen Duthie, Anna Juan Cantavella and Andrea Antinori
Blurb: A book born out of an international project where children were invited to ask questions about death based on a series of workshops. The result? Hundreds of questions from countries all over the world.
Herein lies thirty-eight questions that best represented the breadth and depth of children’s interest in death and related matters, complete with psychological and scientific proofing.
‘We often wonder about what there will be after life (or after death), but why is it that we don’t seem so concerned with what there might have been before? If it is possible that there is an afterlife, could it be possible that there was once a ‘beforelife’? Can you imagine an immortality that goes in both directions: forwards and backwards? Could it be that we have always been around, and we will always be around? Wow!’
Mum’s Jumper by Jayde Perkin
Key themes: Grief; loss; emotions
If Mum has gone, how do you carry on? Missing her feels like a dark cloud that follows you around,or like swimming to a shore that never comes any nearer.
But memories are like a jumper that you can cuddle and wear. And Mum's jumper might be a way to keep her close. A simple, heartfelt and ultimately uplifting bookfor anyone coping with loss.
Blurb: If Mum has gone, how do you carry on? Missing her feels like a dark cloud that follows you around,or like swimming to a shore that never comes any nearer. But memories are like a jumper that you can cuddle and wear. And Mum’s jumper might be a way to keep her close.
‘My body ached, like I’d been swimming for days; how could I get to the shore?
Dad told me this feeling is normal.
It’s called grief. He was swimming too. We were grieving together.’
Duck, Death and the Tulip by Wolf Erlbruch
Blurb: From award-winning author and illustrator, Wolf Erlbruch, comes one of the world’s best children’s books about grief and loss. Voted one of the 100 greatest children's books of all time by the BBC.
In a curiously heart-warming and elegantly illustrated story, a duck strikes up an unlikely friendship with Death. Duck and Death play together and discuss big questions. Death, dressed in a dressing gown and slippers, is sympathetic and kind and will be duck’s companion until the end.
‘For a long time he watched her.
When she was lost to sight, he was almost a little moved.
But that’s life, thought Death.’
Where Did She Go? By Cariad Lloyd and Tom Percival
Blurb: When one little girl's grandma is nowhere to be seen, and everyone keeps saying how sorry they are that the family have lost her, she makes it her special task to find Grandma and cheer everyone up.
But Grandma's not under the sofa or behind the flower patch, so where has she really gone?
‘“I was hoping we’d find Grandma here”, I finally tell Mum. “I’ve looked everywhere for her since she got lost.”
“Oh, my love, I’m so sorry,” Mum says, and gives me a really big hug. “Sometimes people are afraid of upsetting us, so to be kind, they say we ‘lost’ her.”’
The Bear-Shaped Hole by John Dougherty and Thomas Docherty
Key themes: Grief; bereavement; emotions
A beautiful companion title to the critically acclaimed The Hare-Shaped Hole, The Bear-Shaped Hole is a profound, heart-warming story that helps children understand and prepare for loss. Gerda and Orlo are best bear friends. When Gerda was there, Orlo always had time for a game or a story, a joke or a rhyme. He was never too busy to listen, to talk, to help, to share, or to go for a walk.
But slowly, something starts to change. Orlo reveals he is ill, and as he softly explains to Gerda, he is not going to get better. Gerda is overwhelmed by emotions she cannot quite explain, but Orlo gently helps her prepare, so they can spend their time together making memories that will last a lifetime.
When the time comes, Gerda can fill the Bear-Shaped hole in her life with the special moments she shared with Orlo. This brand new picture book is the latest powerful and moving tale from John Dougherty and Thomas Docherty, the award-winning creators of The Hare-Shaped Hole. This sensitively written and beautifully illustrated story explores the process of preparing for loss as well as the experience of loss itself. The Bear-Shaped Hole is a gentle, heartfelt tale that helps children navigate and understand the complex emotions associated with loss.
Perfect for parents looking for a way to address sensitive topics, it covers a range of themes to support meaningful conversations.
Blurb: Gerda and Orlo are best bear friends. When Gerda was there, Orlo always had time for a game or a story, a joke or a rhyme. He was never too busy to listen, to talk, to help, to share, or to go for a walk.
But slowly, something starts to change. Orlo reveals he is ill, and as he softly explains to Gerda, he is not going to get better. Gerda is overwhelmed by emotions she cannot quite explain, but Orlo gently helps her prepare, so they can spend their time together making memories that will last a lifetime. When the time comes, Gerda can fill the Bear-Shaped hole in her life with the special moments she shared with Orlo.
‘“Don’t be ashamed of the way that you feel. Your feelings are precious. Your feelings are real. I know that you’re hurting, but after I’m gone, you’ll know happiness, too, as your life carries on.”
But Gerda, through hot tears of grief and regret yelled, “It’s not fair! I’ve not finished loving you yet!”’
Where Are You, Eddie? By Michael Rosen and Gill Smith
After Michael Rosen's son Eddie died of meningitis aged just 18, Michael makes sure Eddie lives on in their memories. Visiting the places they went together and speaking to Eddie's friends and siblings, he discovers how Eddie is still with them all.
Simply told with emotional honesty by the former Children's Laureate, this is a vital book for helping with conversations with children dealing with loss, showing how loved ones can stay with us through sharing memories. Illustrated with warmth and sensitivity by acclaimed artist Gill Smith, and with a personal afterword by Michael Rosen. Michael Rosen's Sad Book has helped hundreds of thousands of readers in their times of need. Where Are You, Eddie? is the powerful companion book.
Blurb: After Michael Rosen's son Eddie died of meningitis aged just 18, Michael makes sure Eddie lives on in their memories.
Visiting the places they went together and speaking to Eddie's friends and siblings, he discovers how Eddie is still with them all.
Simply told with emotional honesty by the former Children's Laureate, this is a vital book for helping with conversations with children dealing with loss, showing how loved ones can stay with us through sharing memories.
‘“If you look for him, you’ll find him. Not the way he was, but he’ll be there.”’
We Need to Talk About Death by Sarah Chavez and Annka Le Large
An educational book that helps grieving children understand what happens when we die, and celebrates the traditions people around the world use to honour the dead. Death is an important part of life, and yet it is one of the hardest things to talk about – for adults as well as children. Historian and museum curator Sarah Chavez is determined to create a book that sparks wonder and curiosity about dying, instead of fear and shame.
In this informative book, illustrated by Annika Le Large, children will marvel at the flowers different cultures use to represent death. They will find out about eco-friendly burials, learn how to wrap a mummy, and go beneath the streets of Paris to witness skull-lined catacombs! Readers will also ride a buffalo alongside Yama, the Hindu god of death, come face-to-face with the terracotta army a Chinese emperor built to escort him to the afterlife, and party in the streets to celebrate the Day of the Dead in Mexico. Through these examples Sarah Chavez showcases the amazing ways humans have always revered those who have died.
Full of practical tips, this book won’t stop the pain of losing a loved one or a pet, but it may give young readers ideas for different ways they can celebrate those who have passed away, and help begin the healing process.
Blurb: In We Need to Talk About Death, illustrated by Annika Le Large, children will marvel at the flowers different cultures use to represent death. They will find out about eco-friendly burials, learn how to wrap a mummy, and go beneath the streets of Paris to witness skull-lined catacombs! Readers will also ride a buffalo alongside Yama, the Hindu god of death, come face-to-face with the terracotta army a Chinese emperor built to escort him to the afterlife, and party in the streets to celebrate the Day of the Dead in Mexico.
Through these examples, Sarah Chavez showcases the amazing ways humans have always revered those who have passed. Full of practical tips for coping with death, this book won't stop the pain of losing a loved one or a pet, but it may give young readers ideas for celebrating those who have died and help begin the healing process.
‘Funerals are as unique as people are - they can be quiet and formal, or loud and joyful like a party. Death is an important part of life’s story, so, when possible, a funeral will reflect who a person was and the things that were important to them.’
The Hole by Lindsay Bonilla and Brizida Magro
Blurb: A little boy has a big hole in his life after his brother’s death. It's in the bottom bunk where Matty used to sleep, and on Matty's chair at dinner.
It follows him everywhere – and he hates it.
But with the help of a friend, he manages to climb into the hole and confront his grief – the sadness, the anger, and the simple truth of how much he misses his brother. And when he finally feels ready to share stories about Matty again, he realises he can find some comfort in filling the hole with his favourite memories.
‘I hate that Matty’s gone.
But I don’t hate the hole.
Not any more.
Because I know I can always fill it
With memories of him.’
Is It Asleep? By Olivier Tallec
Squirrel and his best friend, Pock the mushroom, sit on the old stump, watching birds fly by. When they’re tired of this, they take the path to the yellow meadow to listen to the blackbird sing. But today, the bird’s not there. The friends look everywhere. Finally they find it on the path, all stretched out and quite still. It must be sleeping. They sit down quietly and wait for the bird to wake.
This true-to-child story of a natural encounter with an animal that has died is both dryly humorous and a profound example of how to manage the comings and goings of life.
Blurb: Squirrel and his best friend, Pock the mushroom, sit on the old stump, watching birds fly by. When they’re tired of this, they take the path to the yellow meadow to listen to the blackbird sing. But today, the bird’s not there. The friends look everywhere. Finally they find it on the path, all stretched out and quite still. It must be sleeping. They sit down quietly and wait for the bird to wake.
This true-to-child story of a natural encounter with an animal that has died is both dryly humorous and a profound example of how to manage the comings and goings of life.
‘We still wonder if we’ve done everything.
That’s when we think of naming something after it.
That way, we’ll never forget the blackbird.
We’ll go on talking about it, so it will be
As if it’s still a little bit here.
First we think of the old stump,
But in the end we choose the big meadow.’
Gone by Michel Streich
Blurb: A visually striking and philosophical book about death, told in a straightforward but friendly manner.
Long or short, every life on earth comes to an end some day. But what happens when we die? Michel Streich’s book is an honest and beautiful guide for curious children about life’s biggest mystery.
‘The bird’s body was still there, a silent,
Feathery shape, but all life had left it.
My flutterying,
Chirping,
Hopping
Bird
Was
Gone.’
If All the World Were by Joseph Coelho and Allison Colpoys
A moving, lyrical picture book about a young girl's love for her granddad and how she copes when he’s gone, written by multi-award winning poet and Waterstones Children's Laureate Joseph Coelho.
This beautifully illustrated, powerful and ultimately uplifting text is the ideal way to introduce children to the concept of death and dying, particularly children who have lost a grandparent. With Allison Colpoys’ gorgeous artwork spilling from each page, accompany a girl and her grandad over spring, summer and autumn. See how he teaches her to imagine, to create, and to enjoy the small things in life, and how, when winter comes, he lives on in her heart. The perfect way into talking about a difficult subject with children, showing that sadness is as necessary to happiness as winter is to spring. If All the World Were… is a soothing, reassuring approach to loss and how to live without someone you loved, and a beautiful story, beautifully told.
Blurb: A moving, lyrical picture book about a young girl's love for her granddad and how she copes when he’s gone, written by poet and playwright Joseph Coelho.
This beautifully illustrated, powerful and ultimately uplifting text is the ideal way to introduce children to the concept of death and dying, particularly children who have lost a grandparent.
‘If all the world were memories,
The past would be rooms I could visit
And in each room would be my grandad.’